Power

A gun lying on the ground has no power. It will collect dust as any object left unattended will. If a hand picks that gun up then the same object that once collected dust suddenly becomes a weapon. The hand only has power while holding the gun because without the gun, it is just a hand and we all share them.

That has been my journey through this world: how can I give my hand power when it is like all other hands?

To answer such a question, I have had to come to understand power. Power is intangible and yet it permeates our world through our actions and our words. The action of power is reserved for the strong ones as their power can be seen and it can corrupt those that are burdened with strength. The burden coming from the knowledge that they can overpower with their bodies in a society that likes to put that violence into a box to be witnessed.

To wit…

Two men can get into a ring and beat each other with gloved hands as millions watch with the taste of blood in their mouths. Two men can get into a fight on the street with bare knuckles and they have committed a crime.

That is the power of the rules of our world…

In war, murder is accepted and encouraged in order to win the war. Without a war declaration though, murder is not accepted as it causes lost lives and freedom. We have the power to make doctrines to follow during a war but we cannot piece together a series of words that will eradicate war.

We are powerless to stop war as we have been at war my whole life. What was once a battle over land became a battle over what was under the land and now, with no more land or oil to fight over, we have wars over ideals. America was deemed too greedy by men with power and there was an attack aimed at what those men saw as the symbol of our greed.

Here is where power gets scary and it has to do with the words of power…

Using those that have deemed America as their enemy in a vacuum, those men with power talked other men into believing that flying an airplane into a building was the right thing to do. All of that destruction was only a part of the plan because the words of the men with power have created a loyalty to their cause that is hard to comprehend. Life is all that we have so willingly giving that away is frightening to me.

I became intimate with power when I fell to a low point in my own timeline. My marriage was in the end of days as my ex-wife no longer was in love with me. I only have one eye that I can see out of and that eye had a cataract on it so I was essentially blind. Having endured eye problems for our whole relationship, my ex-wife was tired of taking care of me. The thought of taking care of a blind man that she no longer loved gave her the power to make a change.

She headed north to what she hoped was a better life and I do hope that she found it.

So I was left in a house that was no longer a home with a serious vision problem. My only vivid memory from that terrible time was crying on the phone to my grandma and asking her why this had happened…

My grandma didn’t know why so she had to have her heart break while I cried about my broken-heart. That phone call could not last forever, nothing does, so I had to hang up the phone and live my life.

I began to build my life into what I wanted it to be as I learned that I had the power to do that. I had the power to take the pain I suffered and have it mean something for the rest of my life. Power was calling to me and as low as I was, I still did care about myself.

Life after trauma is surreal because trauma is such a personal journey. We all suffer traumas and we all process them in the way we know how to. I chose to model my divorced life in the image of men and women that I deemed successful. The successful people in my life had confidence in what they were doing and that confidence gave them power in their lives.

I had the knowledge that I survived the greatest failure of my life and that is where the power began to gain momentum. I had the power to smile even though I felt close to tears for months. I had the power to listen to others and truly hear them. When you truly hear someone then you can be a better friend to them.

The day that I learned that I had real power was the first day that my smile was real again. The tears that want to be let will always be there for the world is a powerfully sad place. We are born to live but we will one day die so find the power in your life before it is too late.

Why do tomorrow what can be done today?