A Special Simpsons Season Six Clip Show

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12/31/1969 - 17:00

        Here are the particulars as I see them: a trend-setting show has a trend-setting DVD case, four discs are held within Homer’s head (there’s room because he has a really small brain; see seasons 1-5) and the third episode on the first disc is another clip show.

       To tie all of the clips together there has to be a theme. This one has the most enigmatic of all: love. Who knows what the hell that stuff is. I say we throw it back and hope for something with a little more meat on it. I already got the chum on the hook.

       It starts with an old comedic staple: The Monty Python foot crushes the Simpson family into their old brown couch and further still into the greenish-bluish carpet. Remember when Eddie Murphy, in Bowfinger, feared that same foot squashing him into the plush furniture of his California mansion and deeper still into the marbleish-parqetish floor.

       I know I’m really making up words here but I am writing about a show made up of forty-six clips from different shows. Forty-six different shows are not represented because some of the clips are from the same show. My first idea was to just count all of the different clips. With this note next to the number six (representing the sixth clip I saw):

disturbing Smithers,

       I had yet another idea.

       The clip was of Mr. Burns flying through Smither’s open bedroom window. Yeah, I know, that’s disturbing. I made a note of it.

       The teen clips were mostly of Moe’s slew of prank calls. There was Al Gaholic, Hugh Jass, Amanda Huggingkiss, Homer Sexual, Bea O’Problem and Moe going off on his rear from a Treehouse of Horrors episode based on an Aldous Huxley short story about happy thoughts and having a good life.

       Most of the twenty-something clips are of Homer mmming. The last one is classic. He goes mmm-something. It ends with a kiss shared by Homer and Ned Flanders. I’m gonna make a note of that one too. It’s rather disturbing and all. Rounding out the twenties was Marge’s bowling affair with Jacque who lives at the Fiesta Terrace and is a fan of brunch.

       The thirtieth clip involves a naked chick riding a clam. That one’s borderline in itself but it also has a nude Lenny and Carl flying with angel’s wings next to the naked chick in the clam. Suddenly I feel I must make a note, it was possibly the angel’s wings that did it. In any case, I am disturbed.

       She was Mindy Simmons. She talked about going down and getting off in an elevator, harmless enough. A bell-hop, in showing Homer the king size bed in the room, made a litany of noises to signify some of what was mentioned in the prior sentence.

       Minus the elevator of course.

       Suddenly it’s not so harmless and it made it onto the pad.

       The notepad.

       No more Chernobyl.

       One clip not shown in a Special Simpsons Season Six clip Show involving Homer and Mindy’s adventures in Capitol City was the fortune cookie scene. Sure Homer did tell Mindy that the cookie told him he had to sleep with her, but the scene in the kitchen where the waiter said they were out of the happiness with a new love cookies and the boss said to start using the stick with your wife cookies did not make the cut.

       In the new story to tie everything together Homer told the family that Mindy hit the bottle pretty hard and lost her job. Still in the early thirties, we revisit Ralph Wiggum’s Valentine Day. Lisa gave him a multiply themed card involving trains and choo-choo-choosing someone or something. In walking his new girl-friend home, Ralph shares these witty thoughts:

       “So, do you like, stuff?”

       “The doctor said I wouldn’t have so many nose-bleeds if I just kept my finger out of there.”

       He even wrote a witty letter to announce a gift within a gift.

       “Look in the tunk.”

       Lisa deciphered the ill-conceived riddle and found tickets to a Krusty show she actually wanted to go to within the trunk of her Malibu Stacy Dream Corvette. Krusty is his usual unprepared self in saying he was at his favorite part of the show only to discover it was time to talk to the audience or, as he calls it, death. The Krusty show also spells doom for Ralph as his heart is broken in the most pin-pointed moment in cartoon history.

       The end was encroaching so Bart’s love got a small slot and punch line. It was when the girl next door ripped his heart out and kicked it into the garbage can in his treehouse. My only problem with that is her kicking the still-beating-heart-of-a-young-boy and my disdain for soccer. Bart builds the joke by starting with whimsy then there is the heart kicking and he tells his mom, who brought it up, this:

       “Thank for bringing up old wounds mom.”

       Sideshow Bob threatened to kill one of Marge’s sisters, I can never tell them apart, Grandpa Simpson goes after Marge’s mom (it takes him two attempts to find her) and Mr. Burns said something that must have made me laugh because I wrote it down (I didn‘t make a note of it though).

       “No need for the blown gasket Charley.”

       It was a send-up of The Graduate complete with a church sign that read please worship elsewhere and a school bus with a woman riding it in a wedding dress.

       Here’s something else I wrote:

       “A detached tale of modern alienation.”

       I wonder what the hell that means.

       Remember Artie Spiff’s busy hands and the town that would be let down by them? They’re in the clip show. Clip 40 was from the backseat of his car. The final ones are of the one love that has endured. It seems that Homer and Marge are the same people that they were seventeen years ago.

       Well, that’s not exactly true. They changed after that first year so it has been status quo for only sixteen of the seventeen years.

       I’ll make a note of it.

J. Floyd King

"The Stigma"
J. Floyd King